To internet date or NOT to internet date….that is the question….?

So way back in Feb when I was feeling the cold of winter more than I have ever done before, I decided to warm up my life a little with some internet dating. I was sitting at my friend Alan’s massive kitchen table in Crouch End and I was thinking about being single and what could I do to change that status NOT in any kind of desperation way (I am a happy singleton!), just I felt the power of taking control of my love life rather than leaving it to Venus. She has done a pretty good job so I can’t complain but the thing that lured me in was the idea that I could choose and be chosen. There was some sort of excitement in that which opened up all kinds of new possibilities and Martini’s!

So I joined Lovestruck on a 3 month deal. As my friend said to me the other day, it was a bit like house hunting….get what you want clear in your head, put enough energy into the mix, write well and you could come up trumps. She HAS! She’s met the most amazing guy and I have a few other friends who have similarly met their life partners. I read the other day that the odds of an internet dating relationship lasting longer than a random meeting is higher because you cut to the chase quicker and learn more about the other person before you have actually met. Interesting!  

There was still a niggling thought though. I’m much better face to face with people and not so much a techy girl so spending MORE time with the computer just wasn’t appealing. It would almost feel like dating the internet because I would be spending more time with it! NOT my thing.

Also, on the negative side, prior to this experience I have been built up and let down. People think NOTHING of texting a couple of lines to say thanks but no thanks,  I have been stood up twice, made to stand about in the cold for an hour TWICE and I find expectations and excitement are hard to keep under control. You really open yourself up to the most unexpected situations and people who potentially don’t have any interests at heart apart from their own.

In all of my time internet dating, I have come up against some ‘nutters’ but nothing scary,  just people who have some issues with women or who have been bitten so twice shy or just don’t like their mothers!

I have found that it’s a game that you have to WANT to play. A few white lies here and there are no harm. I even wrote to one guy after he didn’t contact me and said ‘listen, to be nice to all the dates you are letting down, why don’t you just tell a little white lie even if you hated the date. That way you are letting people down in a warm and fluffy style rather than leaving people questioning and doubting which is the WORST thing you can do to ANY human’. It makes everyone feel better unless it was an absolutely AWFUL date but even then say something positive. People really put their ego’s on the line in these situations and you can get really hurt if you are not careful.

He later wrote back and apologised and said he had a great time. Even if he didn’t, I don’t care, that’s his prerogative.  For me, I did have a great time, in fact, it was one of the most amazing dates of my LIFE and I have had some pretty cool ones. He TOTALLY ROCKED my world on so many levels.  

So what has happened over the last three months……?

First in facts………

I have dated a top Criminal Lawyer, Commodities Trader, 3D Animator, Banker and Architect.

Through one of these men I met an incredible celebrity chef who I admire and respect and am still in touch with now, I’ve had faaaaaar too many cocktails but still not enough, eaten Lambs Brains (yes, you heard that right), had a spontaneous romantic picnic in the very NORTH NORTH of London with the Shard in the distance and to juxtapose met one date in a corner shop.

I have also stood in front of my DREAM house (I am not kidding, it was MASSIVE and Georgian, with Topiary gardens) and been told the guy I was on the date with owns it!

A few more thoughts…..

London really is an incredible place and internet dating just adds another part to the adventure that you can have whilst living here.

I now think the people who go on the internet to date are BRAVE as you are really putting yourself out there.

I have a new found respect for it.

No matter how you meet people, everything is still random.

The people who click on are only as good as the people that have actually joined up to the site.

So did I find THE ONE?

I came close in FEELING (Commodities trader) and I came close in FACT (Animator) but no, not this time. I am giving it a break for now and leaving it to Venus again but I have no qualms about going back when I am good and ready.  

Don’t judge until you’ve tried it.